The Friendship UPgrade

We've grown disconnected. Many of us live amidst strangers as we tally up Facebook friends—the new collectible you don't have to dust and settle for "Soon!" It's often easier for an adult woman to find an online date than a real-life friend in her own neighborhood. The Friendship Upgrade illuminates the growing issue of personal isolation and equips women to exchange clickable connection for real time, face-to-face friendships.

Through the deeply personal stories of real women, it examines our varied routes to isolation—divorce, an emptied nest, increased mobility—as well as the impact of technology, over-efficient living, and the patterned choices that can root us in chronic loneliness. More importantly, this book provides both a roadmap to creating anchoring connections and a model for building community with the disconnected "you go first" women around us who are silently hoping for the same outstretched hand. Women need friendship. Not in an unhealthy, life preserver sort of way but in the organically good capacity of illuminating grow lights. In the right light, solid female friendships counter-balance the uneven weight of major life transitions and help us to be our best selves often, better people than we dreamed we might be.

"Like Bowling Alone (2000) and the works of Brené Brown, this book sensitively probes the cultural factors that lead to feelings of isolation while advocating for vulnerability and letting go of shame. Self-knowledge and nonjudgmental understanding of others are twin goals. Loneliness is not a personal failing, Dugan reassures readers, but a symptom of a life that needs to change. Headed sections, sets of questions to ask oneself, and lists of positive and negative character traits to look for in potential friends add up to a well-structured and user-friendly text... Accessible, detailed advice for building authentic friendships." Kirkus Reviews